Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, states rather he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I handle situations in another way, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans revealed nerves in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel sick
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to performing all activities. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a third of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of detection, as swallowing and breathing become harder.
Medical care can only slow worsening.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," stated an moved Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody said.
"We were seated on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody stated the focus was remaining in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just welcoming and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to spend as much time with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Association
Professional competitors are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the O2 obtainable and creating harm to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous training can initiate the disease in those previously vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, persistent method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a training equipment and commenced engaging in tackles.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already told Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is the crucial thing," he commented.
"This game is such a great group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your career, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
